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A real glass act

By Squinter

THE Roddy’s isn’t great for mobile phone reception. Or perhaps Squinter should rephrase that and say the Roddy’s isn’t great for iPhone coverage, because a bog standard Nokia with the same service provider works perfectly while the iPhone slips into ‘No Service’ mode the second Squinter takes it out of his pocket. The details of the essential uselessness of the iPhone is a story for another day, so let’s concern ourselves here with the incident at hand.

Propping the bar up with a few chums last Friday, Squinter takes out his phone to send a text message and as usual the thing is about as much use as Julian Simmons in a fair dig. Squinter tuts and makes to exit the building in order to wander the extensive grounds in search of a signal, when he’s called back. A pal wants to try an experiment. He asks for an empty pint glass from the barman and when he gets it he places the iPhone inside. Needless to say, this leads to some furrowing of brows and shaking of heads among the assembled company, Squinter included. But after three or four seconds the ‘No Service’ advisory disappears and is replaced by three bars. Squinter puts his finger inside the glass, presses the send button and the stubborn text is delivered in a nanosecond.

Now this is not one of those urban myths that do the rounds, like the Titanic being Clint Eastwood’s father and ‘No Pope Here’ being written on the side of Stan Laurel; this was something that Squinter saw happen with his own two eyes. Yes, lager was being consumed, this being a club and all, but those present were compos mentis (well, as compos mentis as they ever are).

Squinter can only imagine that the wide neck of the glass acted as a kind of satellite dish, rounding up and sucking in all the available signal – but that’s a guess made by someone who doesn’t know how to get the sim card in and out of his phone.

Suggested reasons for this miracle by phone or by text…

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