We hate loud music

By Squinter

ALL the news from the beating heart of Ulster loyalism. Camp Twaddell’s latest Twitter news as the battle for civil rights continues…

  • That rebel music was so loud from Ardoyne we could hardly hear the boys outside playing the Famine Song – sorry, the Sloop John B.
  • Go on home, sang the lead singer of The Druids. We’ve been trying to do that for over a year, yih balloon ye.
  • Something has to be done about republican hate speech – and about those terrorist ratbag subhuman scum in Gaza.
  • George Galloway suing Willie Frazer. That’ll be the trial of the century – as long as the lawyers don’t use too much Latin. Willie struggles even with English.
  • Been talking to Willie about that Galloway legal case. He tells us he’s going to argue FAIR comment. No chance of Frankie Boyle using that one.
  • The loyalist people of this city demand to know why the music at the Ardoyne festival has to be so loud and in-your face. And yes, we are serious.
  • We note George Galloway didn’t take up our offer of visiting the caravan after his Ulster Hall appearance (neither did any of the loyalist protestors, come to think of it).
  • Ruth tells us that somebody shouted ‘Go home, Raghead!’ at her at the Ulster Hall protest. The old sunbed must have been on too high.

 

And here are some Twaddell tweets you might have missed while Squinter was off sunning himself…

  • Great to be back in the caravan in Twaddell after a two-week break in the caravan in Millisle. FGAU, GSTQ, NS, WATP etcetera etcetera
  • We’re told terrorists marched through the city centre of Belfast recently. Honestly, you think it’s okay to go away just for a wee while…
  • What? Cliff Richard suspected of historic abuse? Is this all about that time he sang to the crowd at Wimbledon when it was raining?
  • Big Geordie studying picture of McGuinness lumbering Robbo. Says men kissing should go to hell but with an amnesty for the Maze in the ’80s.
  • Much as he hates that kissing picture, Big Geordie admits he’d love to see Hutchie in a chest harness, leather cap and bandido moustache.
  • Any movement on the graduated response meant to get us home? No? There’s a shocker. Here’s Robbo’s graduated response: House, airport, Miami.
  • We go away to Millisle for two weeks and while not tweeting we pass 1,000 followers. There’s a message in there somewhere, but what?
  • Ambulance Service declares a major incident after 14 kids were overcome with fumes at the boney. We warned them about those pishy mattresses.
  • Orange Order press conference says there’ll be peaceful protests on the Twelfth evening. Hope they’ll be sit-down protests because we will be blootered.
  • To clarify: 6-minute Ardoyne protest stop is an extra stop, not the only one. Regular piss-stops and church-stops will go ahead as usual.
  • When Big Geordie was told we’re to sign a pledge for the Twelfth he passed out. Relax, Ulster – it’s not like the Pioneer pledge
  • Villiers to be asked to set up a commission to consider a commission. Next they’ll be walking out of talks then demanding talks. Oh, wait…
  • We’re told unionist leaders have someone in mind to head up the commission of inquiry: Mr Justice Stewart ‘Stewarty’ Stewart.
  • Big Geordie unhappy re evening protests. He was so drunk at Woodvale last year he could hardly swing his sword – and that was the afternoon.
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