D’ough! thon timer’s broke

By Squinter

CONTINUING on the theme of bread and this here’s the Twitter account of Irwin’s Bakery, makers of the Nutty Krust. It’s the king of the plain loaf and Squinter has consumed it in Homeric quantities down through the years. He’s often eaten it as toast (the heel was routinely fought over in West Belfast household as a toasted plain heel is a local delicacy) but even more often as the essential accompaniment to stew and HP sauce.

But while Irwin’s are clearly experts in the field of baking, their expertise does not extend to the field of history because in their short Twitter bio they claim to have “Over 100 years of baking in Northern Ireland.” That’s quite some feat because, of course, This Here Pravince didn’t come into existence until 1922.

That means it’s only six years until Irwin’s are actually entitled to make such a claim. But the clock may have started ticking the other way as the recent intervention of Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael in the post-Brexit border poll debate has queered the pitch a bit.

Le tout Ulster is now holding its breath to see whether Ulster’s sell-by date is fast approaching, or whether they’ll be getting the bunting out in 2022 in Yeast Belfast